Being a mother is without a doubt, one of the greatest gift a woman could ever receive. It is such a wonderful journey that if the situation permits, you'll probably want to be a full time mom to enjoy and witness every milestone that your little bundle of joy will reach. But, no situation or choice will ever be perfect. Sure, being a SAHM seems like a better set-up for some. I for one is a happy (most days) SAHM. I am infinitely grateful for my husband who works hard and well enough for us to afford to be having me as a full-time mom with no income contribution in the household. He provides more than what we need and want (but don't get me wrong. We're not rich. LOL). Some might think that I should be entirely happy and content—Sure, I am. But, there's still a part of me that craves for something else. Something to do for myself. As a mom, my number one priority is to be looking after my little one (like 24/7). And also my other top priority is to be a good wife. It's always a juggling game between the two. So, how about ME?
This has become my greatest fear as a SAHM. I wonder what I will be doing after my kid does not need me 24/7 anymore...
I learned to love more and more each and everyday being a mom and a wife. But, looking at my husband sometimes, and hearing his stories about work; being promoted and all, makes me ache a little. I am happy and proud of his achievements. Don't get me wrong. It's just that, I can't help but imagine myself having to tell about those, too! I always imagine what it feels like to achieve something or to excel at what I'm good at. But at this moment, I can't even tell what I am good at aside from being a mom. I'm starting to evaluate myself. What am I really passionate about? What is my special skill? If I am not a mom now, what would I be doing? Which career path am I turning to?
Before being married and being a mom, I can remember that I’m a bit ambitious. I know for some, my dream job is not that great. You don’t need a PhD or a license to be in that field. For me, even if it is not that prestigious of a career, it is something that I can picture myself enjoying every bit of. I mean, I know there's no such thing as a perfect job/career. But, you get it. Right?
I just came to a point in my SAHM life that I get to question myself. I just can't imagine what I'll be doing once my kid won't be needing me as much as he does now. That would be finally a chance for me to make up for the things that I missed. Being an exclusively breastfeeding mom, and up to now that my kid is turning 2 years old, I still nurse him. So it is impossible for me to even go out and hang out with my friends without bringing my kid. But, just thinking about the moment that I'll be doing things that I wasn't able to do now makes me a little nervous because I feel that being a mom and a wife became my life now. That after this stage, I don't know what else am I capable of doing.
I must be not the only one feeling like this. Right? So right now, while my hands are still tied to being a mom and a wife, I thought of other things to keep my mind off worrying about the future. I thought of having an online job, but I failed to do so even though I passed the interview because my kid still needs me most of the time in an unpredictable time of the day. So I can't commit to a schedule for work. So right now, I went back to my frustration for years; which is blogging. This is something that would keep me preoccupied and keep my sanity. And while writing this, I thought of some things that may help you overcome or at least not to think much about your fear of being not just being a mom and just a wife anymore.
READ BOOKS
If you are a reader, you could squeeze in a little time off your house duties a bit to read. Just to have something for your mind to work on and for your imagination to work differently a little. Thinking too much of your household chores and taking care of your baby makes your brain work non-stop. So, give it a little break to breathe.
BINGE-WATCH TV SERIES
As a breastfeeding mom, nursing my child gives me a little time to watch some series/movies in netflix on my phone. Sure, catching some sleep would be the most reasonable thing to do once your baby is dozing off while feeding (on boobies or bottle). But, a little amount of laughter or excitement through a tv series or through movies won't hurt.
SPARE SOME TIME TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR HUSBAND
Living in the same roof with your best friend is the best feeling in the world. But, because you have a kid/s now, lessens your quality time with your partner somehow. Not just that, of course your hard-working husband gets tired after work, and you get tired because of a long day full of household chores and taking care of your little one, so you both will end up just lying in bed to get some rest. Having a quality time with your significant other doesn't have to be too much work, you don't even have to get frustrated on your much missed date nights. Why don't you just sit on the couch for a few minutes while watching your kid/s play and talk about anything under the sun.
LOOK FOR FREE LESSONS ONLINE
If you are like me, who feels that my brain does not work the same way as before since I stay at home most of the time, you could look on the internet for free classes online. I tried looking for free foreign language class since I really wanted to learn other languages. Maybe at least 2 foreign language would be great. And since I had a hard time finding a free online course for it, I found some mobile applications. Though they are not a formal course/class, I learn bits and pieces of foreign languages.
QUIET TIME
This may not speak for people who has other religious beliefs, but it might work for most. I myself, haven't studied the bible that well yet. It also frustrates me that I wasn't ever consistent in reading and studying the bible. Maybe that is one of the reasons why I can't see God's plans for me. Maybe that's the reason why I still find things to complain about, given the fact that I should just be grateful about my situation. Because, others would give everything to be a SAHM. I am now planning on reading the bible even just bit by bit so I would not be overwhelmed.
THINK OF THE THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL FOR
This is one of the things that I miss to even think about, most of the time. It's just now that I realize that there should be more thanking and less complaining in one day. I should be thankful of the situation I'm in. I should be thankful that I get tired for the whole day of taking care of my kid. Why? because he is perfectly healthy. That's why he is full of energy. And being tired at the end of the day is nothing, compared to the hugs, kisses, I love yous, and smiles from him. I also get to welcome my man at home with hugs and kisses after his long tiring day at work.
At the end of the day, whether you're a working mom or a stay-at-home-mom; We all get tired, we get stressed, we get frustrated. Sometimes, we just have to find ways for us to feel and think differently about things. Maybe one of these days, I will discover what I am really going to do when the day that I worry about comes.
I just came to a point in my SAHM life that I get to question myself. I just can't imagine what I'll be doing once my kid won't be needing me as much as he does now. That would be finally a chance for me to make up for the things that I missed. Being an exclusively breastfeeding mom, and up to now that my kid is turning 2 years old, I still nurse him. So it is impossible for me to even go out and hang out with my friends without bringing my kid. But, just thinking about the moment that I'll be doing things that I wasn't able to do now makes me a little nervous because I feel that being a mom and a wife became my life now. That after this stage, I don't know what else am I capable of doing.
I must be not the only one feeling like this. Right? So right now, while my hands are still tied to being a mom and a wife, I thought of other things to keep my mind off worrying about the future. I thought of having an online job, but I failed to do so even though I passed the interview because my kid still needs me most of the time in an unpredictable time of the day. So I can't commit to a schedule for work. So right now, I went back to my frustration for years; which is blogging. This is something that would keep me preoccupied and keep my sanity. And while writing this, I thought of some things that may help you overcome or at least not to think much about your fear of being not just being a mom and just a wife anymore.
READ BOOKS
If you are a reader, you could squeeze in a little time off your house duties a bit to read. Just to have something for your mind to work on and for your imagination to work differently a little. Thinking too much of your household chores and taking care of your baby makes your brain work non-stop. So, give it a little break to breathe.
BINGE-WATCH TV SERIES
As a breastfeeding mom, nursing my child gives me a little time to watch some series/movies in netflix on my phone. Sure, catching some sleep would be the most reasonable thing to do once your baby is dozing off while feeding (on boobies or bottle). But, a little amount of laughter or excitement through a tv series or through movies won't hurt.
SPARE SOME TIME TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR HUSBAND
Living in the same roof with your best friend is the best feeling in the world. But, because you have a kid/s now, lessens your quality time with your partner somehow. Not just that, of course your hard-working husband gets tired after work, and you get tired because of a long day full of household chores and taking care of your little one, so you both will end up just lying in bed to get some rest. Having a quality time with your significant other doesn't have to be too much work, you don't even have to get frustrated on your much missed date nights. Why don't you just sit on the couch for a few minutes while watching your kid/s play and talk about anything under the sun.
LOOK FOR FREE LESSONS ONLINE
If you are like me, who feels that my brain does not work the same way as before since I stay at home most of the time, you could look on the internet for free classes online. I tried looking for free foreign language class since I really wanted to learn other languages. Maybe at least 2 foreign language would be great. And since I had a hard time finding a free online course for it, I found some mobile applications. Though they are not a formal course/class, I learn bits and pieces of foreign languages.
QUIET TIME
This may not speak for people who has other religious beliefs, but it might work for most. I myself, haven't studied the bible that well yet. It also frustrates me that I wasn't ever consistent in reading and studying the bible. Maybe that is one of the reasons why I can't see God's plans for me. Maybe that's the reason why I still find things to complain about, given the fact that I should just be grateful about my situation. Because, others would give everything to be a SAHM. I am now planning on reading the bible even just bit by bit so I would not be overwhelmed.
THINK OF THE THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL FOR
This is one of the things that I miss to even think about, most of the time. It's just now that I realize that there should be more thanking and less complaining in one day. I should be thankful of the situation I'm in. I should be thankful that I get tired for the whole day of taking care of my kid. Why? because he is perfectly healthy. That's why he is full of energy. And being tired at the end of the day is nothing, compared to the hugs, kisses, I love yous, and smiles from him. I also get to welcome my man at home with hugs and kisses after his long tiring day at work.
At the end of the day, whether you're a working mom or a stay-at-home-mom; We all get tired, we get stressed, we get frustrated. Sometimes, we just have to find ways for us to feel and think differently about things. Maybe one of these days, I will discover what I am really going to do when the day that I worry about comes.
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